So this is 40

I think this is the first year I didn’t sit in tears with worry anticipating my birthday.  I guess I use to measure my birthday as the day to evaluate my success, my achievements, and where I should be.
I had a different vision in my head years ago of where I would be at 40- I wanted normal.  And I gave it an honest try, I really did.  I  pictured celebrating my milestone in Paris with my love but the universe didn’t agree.  I don’t feel like I am missing out, or I failed, or at all disappointed which is usually my go to.  Something happened a few months ago, I was so unhappy and blind trying to fit the mold I thought I was suppose to fit into when really UGH!
Today I am living my best life.  I said “Im done” and the roof didn’t cave in, I took the leap, I jumped, I had no cares left.  And nothing to lose.  And wow what freedom! I am 40 and not ANYWHERE where I thought I’d be, or where I thought you’re suppose to be but I am happy.
I now live a simple, uncomplicated life blowing glass, running a business with my best friend, going to concerts with my parents, training dogs, studying so many things and learning.  I sleep well.  I learned to meditate.  I read.  I make a point to surround myself with genuine and kind people.
So hey, I am Toni and I just met myself a few months ago.  I am 40.  I wear blundstones and ugly sweaters, I read tarot cards and burn sage.  I am a glass blower.  I feel so much pride, so much love, so much good energy from the people who follow and support TideLine that sometimes it’s almost overwhelming! So yea, I am a glass blower.  I have the most amazing family with nothing but support and love any girl could ask for.  I have the most amazing supportive group of friends that accept me, laugh with me, and encourage me.  I love dogs and one cat.
So my goals for this year? To continue.  To say yes, to experience more.  And really to only do what feels right with no guilt.  I wish I met this girl sooner –

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